it's really not my fault that i don't have any self-control; personally, i believe that it is genetic. it doesn't matter what we're discussing: speeding, drinking, drugs, shopping, hooking up with boys - it all boils down the the fact that i cannot and will not ever be able to control myself.
i googled "preventative gastric bypass" the other day. based on the way that i do and plan to eat for the rest of my life, they might as well get the stomach stapling over with while i am still relatively young and heal easily. i can take like a month of off work to recuperate, but i might not be able to do that when i'm 40.
furthermore, drunk driving is another thing i should never be held accountable for. one drink is never enough. also, three drinks is never enough. 5 or 6 is. on some occasions. and i can't sleep in bars, so i have to drive home. some bars are close enough to my house that it's not really a big deal, but in other cases, i just have to turn the key and driiiive.
shopping is probably my worst downfall. i thoroughly enjoy having new things. it's a sickness.
all of this is to say that i believe the government should issue me a card. a card that states "ali shall not be held accountable for breaking the law, as she is genetically incapable of following rules. also, she should get all of her clothes for free." i absolutely would not have any problems if someone gave me one of these. my life would be so much better, and i would never get in trouble again.
mimi, i know you need one of these as well; however, your problems are mostly related to drinking, shopping, and that little birdy in your mouth that makes you say inappropriate things. there are so many things that this card would be useful for. i believe that unless i kill someone (and even that is negotiable sometimes), the rules should not apply to me. end of story.
ps. i hate the way refrigerators smell.
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