1. i called goodyear to tell them that i need to bring my car in for work. conversation is as follows:
mike: thanks for calling goodyear, this is mike.
me: hi, there are like 18 million things wrong with my car. can i bring it in tomorrow?
mike: sure. what's your last name?
me: (say it, spell it.)
mike: oh, hey, ali.
me: hi, mike. so i'll see you tomorrow?
mike: always a pleasure doing business with you.
mike thinks that i am actually crazy. the last time i took my car to good year, i number one did not have any gas, and had to ask him if the car had to be running to have the oil changed, because that was going to be a problem. number two, i told him that my car was lived out of and asked him to please not to judge me for the state it was in. in addition, he asked me if i wanted to have the air filters cleaned out, and i asked what those were and if they were important. mike and i clearly have a history. hopefully he will be thrilled to see me tomorrow. maybe we'll fall in love.
2. momma's boys season finale is next week, and it is going to be glorious. erica got saved by mike's mom tonight, and STILL no one knows that she is the penthouse pet of the year! word on the street is that she reveals everything next week, and i cannot wait to see it. the only thing that would make this show better would be a silent but snarky lie detector man, like on who wants to marry my dad? or maybe a clever, shit-stirring maid / butler.
3. currently, my religious views on facebook read "what would patty do?" in reference to my alcoholic, coked-out boss at work, also known as patsy, pattycakes, the cakester, and gail. however, without changing it, i have decided that this now refers to patty hewes, glenn close's character from damages. not only did she have a dog killed to prove a point, she is so saccharinely fake and vindictive it is almost unbelievable. she stops at nothing, and i want to be her.
4. i applied to adsense, google's program for putting click-through ads on websites. mimi and i will stop at nothing to make a buck, so if google says it's cool, there are going to be some serious ads on this blog.
5. the br is changing our discount policy starting feb. 1st. i don't have all of the details, but i don't need them. gap, inc. is a soulless profit machine and will stop at nothing short of physical abuse to take advantage of its employees and save a buck. ugh, strike one, corporate america - this week.
6. craigslist has got some sketchy job postings. if i wanted to be an actress in roles where “light bondage” are required, i would basically have a full-time job.
7. that fucking spider solitaire is so addicting that i'm not surprised that i never get anything done. i could play that for 6 hours at a time i think. and i think i may have. i mean, i've never timed myself, but i wouldn't be shocked if i played for over 5 or 6 hours at one point. i especially really like it when you can make a little pattern out of the order you finish the game in, like red-black-red-black, etc. delightful and satisfying.
8. bringing it back to facebook for a second (obviously one of my favorite topics), i recently updated my political views to: fusionism. my political views on the book have gone as follows - "Very Conservative" when they wouldn't let you type things in yourself, "way conservative." when they finally did, "ron paul 2012" after november 4th, and now "fusionism." according to wikipidea (the bible), "fusionism is an american political term for the combination of 'fusion' of libertarian and traditional conservative ideals in the american conservative movement." fusionism is, at its core, another word for classical liberalism, and the ideas of smith, locke, voltaire, et al. let's bring the good 'ole boys back and let them show modern american politicians how it's done. where is william f. buckley, jr. when you need him?
9. tha kath and i are playing phone tag - she is obviously screening her calls. typical.
10. i think sarah palin is number one on every 10 or 20 or 50 or whatever "most hated people in 2008." you cannot even begin to count the number of problems i have with this statement. i will make only one point now - there are so many other people more deserving of that title that it's literally sending me into convulsions. has anyone heard of barney frank? take that asshole out for the reaming he so richly deserves. but, nooo, he's a democrat AND he's gay, so god forbid we insult the nation's #1 most put-upon congressman.
that's all for now, kids, i have to get my beauty sleep before my big date with mike tomorrow.
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